I still turn my head and look into your room as if you’re there everytime i walk to the kitchen.

The doctors said there’s nothing that they can do anymore. Somehow, it feels like that’s just their way of saying that he doesn’t have much time left.

You stopped responding to medication. There’s so much water and flem in your body, your fever isn’t going away. your body organs are in the worst of conditions. you’re not getting any better. you’re in constant pain. you lost your sense of communications. we aren’t even given the privilege to comfort you. you’re breathing painfully through a oxygen tube.

I thought that after getting both your legs amputated, things will go back to its horrible self again but it never did. As days passed by, it just looked like it was never gonna happen again. Now? we know for sure, it will not happen.

You lost all sense to know whats going on around you. you open your eyes in pain but you don’t see us. thanks to your poor blood circulation, you don’t even know we’re there even when we hold you and call you.

I’m scared for you, for me, for everyone that cares about you. I am scared for what’s about to come. I’m afraid and i don’t know how to deal with it.

you know what im missing right now? how you would get happy about certain things and smile in excitement. i miss that the most about you.


About Rudy Prabahgaran

"To follow by faith alone is to follow blindly" - Benjamin Franklin. View all posts by Rudy Prabahgaran

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